Everyone Does It

>> Saturday, November 8, 2008

No, it’s not what you might be thinking you dirty monkey. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) I am talking about sitting on the can, draining the dragon, using the toilet, pooping. Ever since entering college using the restroom has not been the same. I have been forced out of the comforts of my own home facilities into the unknown. Through my experiences I have made several observations:

Seat Covers
In the interest of saving paper I have gone from double sheeting to a single sheet. I used to always go double no matter what. But after feeling a little guilty, and manning up a little, one is enough. Also, I found out that the cover really doesn’t do much; it’s more of a mental comfort.

Luck and Chance

Over the past several months I have developed a mental timetable and map for restrooms on campus. Each restroom has its certain hour and day for which it is clean or useable. If I get lucky there are special ones that are always clean. However, in the same way, there are hazardous ones that are used in life and death situations. On occasion there are also the uncharted ones that are a bit of a gamble. Anything can happen with those.

Smelly Soap
I never thought that soap could smell bad, but low and behold look what I found. In the majority of the restrooms I use most frequently there is always the “bad” soap. It literally smells like puke; I can’t stand using that stuff. It’s so bad I sometimes question if it’s even antibacterial or if its some sick janitor joke. I always hope to find the “slightly” better soap that smells like almonds.

It’s a scary world to poop in out there but everyone has to do it. Good luck and happy pooping.

(Special thanks to C. Ching for the inspiration on this one, someone who has always made me believe anything is possible if you try hard enough)


Lazy Punk 11/10/08, 5:34 PM  

Well, that may be the case for men, for women, it's a totally different problem. For females, our biggest problem is that we can't poop in public. The public has come up with this image that girls don't poop or fart. Ask any guy. They say "Girls don't do stuff like that." At most, guys think that girls' farts smell like flowers. So now, girls have developed this self-consciousness of farting or pooping in public restrooms. So the trick for our living in dorms is to time it out to where there's no one around when we poop. Just think of how hard it must be for us when we have to fart in public!! We have to hold it!!

And we all know how hard it is to hold in gas, don't we Lemon Tea?

allie loy! 11/14/08, 2:56 PM  

agreed. girl's can't poop or fart in public. its not fair.

timlee. i think most of us know what its like to fart in public. bahahaha.

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