Everything is a positive learning experience, once your rationale kicks in

>> Saturday, July 24, 2010

What happens when your long-awaited internship does not elaborate on their rationale once they inform you of their decision to drop you from their roster? You might groan with agony that eventually forces you to suffocate on the loggie that gradually accumulates on your esophagus.  As a result of these eventually traumatic experiences, you could lose sight of your aspirations by focusing too much on the moment, the moment that you supposedly must focus on, so that you could move on with your life.

This moment undoubtedly lingered with me, after being informed that I was no longer an intern for the San Francisco Police Department. I patiently waited for this opportunity to blossom, following every given procedure that they could possibly ask from me. In the end, it seemed every ounce of energy invested into this internship proved worthless, worthless because my future now swam in the river of uncertainty that forever drowned my aspiration. 

However, I soon realized my layoff does not suggest I am incapable of following law environment conducts. It rather reflects my insatiable desire to better understand their decision, prompting me to seek the truth behind their comments. From this recognition, I began examining the relationship between past and present events, logically weaving every delicate detail together, while conspicuously holding my ego within a distance.  As a result, I ultimately realized that I should not dwell on my shortcomings, because my failures and successes serve as a smaller picture reflecting a bigger learning lesson.

I may never know the actual events and the actual thought processes leading to their decision, but it no longer matters, because I am developing my critical thinking skills by analyzing the police’s rationale, demonstrating my competency, my willingness and my desire to deal with complex situations requiring me to step beyond my comfort realm, while revealing these skills as applicable skills to all professions.

So, this rejection by the police department turned out as a positive learning experience because it prepared me for the unintended consequences that could occur within the work force, as well as illuminating my response to these unexpected moments. And to those experiencing similar anguishes, I encourage you to abandon your initial responses by critically evaluating every past, every present and every future success and failure that is associated with your goals, because raw emotions without supervision could consume your objectivity overtime, without ever surfacing on your subconscious. So, I hope my story shows you all that every experience you encounter in life inevitably evolves into a learning experience, in spite of your emotions suggesting otherwise.

Middle Class

>> Sunday, July 11, 2010

It brings a smile to my face knowing that I come from such a humble background. In San Francisco the neighborhood you grow up in pretty much defines you. Your stomping grounds sums up what kind of family you come from. It can easily separate you from being a well off upper class citizen to someone barely making ends meet. If you live in Twin Peaks, St. Francis Wood, or down by the Marina, you’re pretty well off. Richmond or Sunset, you’re a in between average Joe. It’s as simple as that with the other neighborhoods filling in the gaps and extremes.

The funny part is that people in most neighborhoods don’t cover where they’re from. If they live in big houses then they drive big cars, buy big toys, and go on big vacations. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that in the least bit. People work hard to earn a living and should be proud of the product they put forth. It’s ok to splurge once in a while as long as it’s in controlled manner.

In the grander scheme of things growing up in a household where my parents made just enough is a blessing. I grew up in a simple home and quickly learned that we lived within our means. Our vacations didn’t consist of extravagant exotic beaches on the other side of the globe. We didn’t do the yearly trip to Disneyland or other amusement parks. My brother and I didn’t own a game system like many friends or relatives. Instead we hopped in the car and drove for long as we could (or until I got sick and puked out yesterday’s lunch). My version of a five star hotel was a bare camp ground with a modest fire pit. There was no room service, no first class amenities, no fine dining, or latest game console. There were just marshmallows, crackling fires, and noisy crickets.

In retrospect I can only recall sitting in an airplane on small number of occasions. Movies were rented more from the library than anywhere else. Heck, going out to get fast food as a meal seemed like a big deal in itself. It was no secret that my friends had the luxuries of a comfortable lifestyle, many of which I could only dream of. They lived in mansion-like homes with separate entertainment rooms, fully decked out kitchens, and random art pieces that served no purpose. The reality I failed to recognize until only recently is that it really didn’t matter. None of it was important. I already had everything I needed.

Real Talk

>> Friday, July 2, 2010

As defined by urban dictionary, real talk is “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.” Call me crazy, but I am almost certain that English language is being dragged through the dirt with terms like this. (Ironically when I started writing this I totally forgot that it’s also the name of a friend’s blog, silly me. Go check out his stuff if you get a chance, might find something you like.)

Personally I had no prior knowledge of this slang term or phrase before a study partner used it. I figured out the meaning of the word on my own based on the context it was being used. Then it got me thinking about how everyone looks for this kind of aspect in their relationships. Putting up a false image or leading someone on only leads to heartache and pain in the end, or at least that’s what life has taught me so far. This is not to say that this behavior is not tempting. It’s without a doubt that life is far easier when you push aside the genuine truth.  It brings meaning to the whole ignorance is bliss idea. There are fewer worries to handle and lower chances of feelings being hurt. Promises are avoided at all costs so that nothing is put at risk, thus there is no chance for loss.

Arguably, I only have a handful of good friends where I’ve been able to convey such sentiment. I am lucky to even be able to count them with my fingers and recall our memories together. It’s rare for anyone in general find someone that just clicks perfectly. Not everyone is able to relate to one another on multiple levels. Moreover, relationships and friendships take time to develop. Late night conversations on an outdoor park bench or evening strolls around the neighborhood don’t happen overnight. Deep talks all start out as awkward hellos or clever side comments. But when the occasion does come along and the interlocking pieces fit just right; nothing takes the weight off your shoulders like a good chat with a close friend.

To my faithful and beloved readers, I dare you to find such a person for yourself as I’ve described. Don’t hold anything back when the moment does come. True transparency leads to a genuine love towards the strangers you’ll call brothers and sisters. I guarantee that it’ll be unconditional and truly intimate. If all these things are done, then the more “real” the relationship will be.

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